Tuesday, 20 September 2011


Do you ever have times when you just doubt everything you're doing?

Two bouts of hospitalisation this year (first husband and then littest one) have really shaken me. Bigger is really unsettled, littler has turned back into a velcro baby and work is...well, a bit pants really.

Which leaves me doubting everything.

I usually love my job. It's a nice job, I get paid reasonably well and on the whole, the people I work with are pretty decent. But a whole load of boring politics has crept in lately and it's left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth to be honest.

I find I'm yearning for the days of freelance again. Yet I can't face the financial uncertainty that would bring.

I'm also a bit sick of writing about stuff I don't really care about (which is what I do for a job essentially - write what other people want me to write in order to sell stuff). I want to write more of this sort of stuff and this and this.

I want to be at home more and spend more time on the school run (whaaaaat? I know, crazy). But I'm reluctant to lose out financially.

I don't know what the answer is. I guess I'm looking for the holy grail of working parents everywhere - more time at home with the children while still being rewarded financially and maintaining a good standard of living.

Yeah, I know...almost impossible.

So how do you all balance the whole work/family life thing?


  1. Yip, it's the holy grail ...
    I've spent lots of time at home with my kids in the last few years, for which we've made big financial sacrifices on all levels (no 'cable' TV, no big holidays, no new furniture, no savings - eek) and yet there are SO many days I'd LOVE to work outside the home, have more time doing un-kiddie-related stuff, have more financial stability. I'm light years from an ideal scenario on this one ...

  2. I know, I'm so fickle. When I was maternity leave I was itching to get back to work - the glamour of central London, peace to read a book on the train blah blah blah...

    As a family we don't function very well with financial instability - we're still in a titchy flat because we're too scared to make the leap to a bigger mortgage and a proper grown-up house. *sigh*

    So the search continues...

  3. I must admit the one thing which has made this possible for us our house - we're still paying it off (and will be forEVER) but we bought at a really good time with a really low rate and while it's not ideal (is it ever?),it's plenty big enough for us.

    I blame all these damn choices we have these days :) Damn choices! You suck!

  4. Exactly! Damn choices! Damn those feminists for fighting for our choice to bear children *and* have a career. Damn you! ;-)

    Maybe I just need to accept that you *can't* have it all?

  5. When you find out will you please let me know! It is so hard, I am a SAMH, but need to find some work to help pay the bills. I wish the government put more value on parents for the children's early years, rather than all this getting them into preschools at 2!

  6. I know - there must be a better way surely??

  7. That is just how I feel! My maternity leave is just about to end :( At least we're not alone in our thoughts!

  8. oh @breadfortheboys, you are where I was 6 months ago...it's not easy is it? How I wished maternity leave could last longer :-(

  9. I wish I knew the answer to that question.
    I took the leap into freelance work last autumn and decided that I'd rather be skint and doing something that makes me happy and fulfilled than regret not trying later.
    I hope you find what works for you x


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