Thursday, 24 September 2009

The one where she gets all serious and gazes at her belly button (or should that be piggy bank?)

A funny thing happened last night.

Husband and I were talking money matters as we brushed our teeth and organised ourselves for tomorrow (today). As usual, I'd plumped for the wrong savings account and husband had found a much better one with a higher rate of interest (yawn, I know).

Then, husband suggested something that, to me, was just totally unthinkable.

He suggested I just lump my savings in with his.


Image: Wikipedia

Now, I know a lot of people may think that is a very sensible suggestion, especially as husband was very clever and bagged one of the few remaining high interest savings accounts left on the market before the market imploded.

But the thought made me feel sick. That money is my escape fund. It's my ticket to a new life, far far away. It's my independence. It's MY money.

So that got me thinking. Why do I feel I need an escape fund? Husband is most certainly a keeper, even if it did take me some time to figure this out. We've been together for 10 years (well, 9 years, 11 months and 2 weeks since our first snog!). We may not always agree on everything (who does?), but we do share a basic philosophy on life and our values are pretty much identical. I truly feel he completes me.

I have no intention of running off and leaving him anytime soon or in the future. In fact, I'm desperately trying to convince him to extend our little family (yup, still broody for baby no. 2. Hurry up husband).

So where does this need to keep at least some of our finances separate stem from? To be honest, I have no idea. I am fiercely independent and the thought of being financially dependent on a man does make me uneasy. I think it's a share of power thing. I fear that if I have no financial clout, the balance of power will shift. Gosh, that sounds awful doesn't it? Talking about the balance of power. We're a partnership, there should be no power struggle. And there isn't.

I don't know if I know the answer to this one. I always felt my mum was too dependent on my dad I guess, and as much as I love them both, I was never comfortable with the balance of power in their relationship. Until recently that is, when their situation forced mum to sort of find herself. She's a newly liberated woman now and although not financially independent from dad, she is now socially independent of him. Which is lovely for her and has really strengthened their relationship.

So I guess it's over to you lovely fellow peep in the blogosphere. Do you have a secret escape fund? Or are your finances as entwined as your futures when it comes to your partners? Do share and let me know if I'm just being a weird closet feminist or something!

1 comment:

  1. finances are totally entwined. i figure since we did all that "i do" business and had a daughter and everything, we had decided that we were together. and being together means sharing everything. plus, i'm rubbish at money, so it's safer with us than with me. :-) i'd just spend it on camera lenses (which i also do when it's ours, but together with his, there's more, so better lenses..ha!).

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