Today started badly. A 6am wake-up call from vtech camera making contact with my forehead (WAKE UP MUMMY) was rather a rude awaking to be honest.
I then found myself in the shower, sobbing. Great big gulping feeling ridiculously sorry for myself sobs.
It was time to sort myself out.
I've never experienced depression. I've always been an insufferable optimist, preferring to hope for the best and muddle through if it doesn't quite work out to plan. But these past 4 months have been really tough and I think a lot of underlying stress that I've been trying to bury has finally caught up with me. I don't even know if it is a form of depression I'm experiencing. I just know I need to sort it out and see it off before it gets the better of me.
So tonight we're having salmon for dinner. A good dose of omega 3 should help balance some hormones, boost my immune system and patch up some wonky synapses in the old grey matter. I just tried to quickly google some evidence for that last sentence, but google is favouring some questionable sources today. (But I worked on a leading brand of omega 3 supplements a long time ago and remember reading some respected, robust studies on it's wonderful benefits. So I'm sticking with my gut instinct. I'm also craving poached salmon and asparagus, so again, trusting my gut instinct!)
Then this weekend, if the rain stays away long enough, we'll head out to the country to dose up on vitamin D, fresh air and fairy dust from a bluebell wood. There may even be an eggdipdip sandwich or 5.
I hate feeling this way. It's time to fill my cup until it once more overfloweth (with omega 3 and vitamin D presumably).