Regrets

We've had some sad news this weekend. My Granda, my dad's dad, died on Thursday night.

I didn't know him very well and this is probably my greatest regret. He lived a 4 hour drive away, which isn't that far in the grand scheme of things, but was a journey we only ever embarked upon about once a year. I have very few memories of him sadly.

But now my Granda's widow is breaking her heart 600 miles away, I regret we're not closer, both in geography and emotionally. Even though we never called my Granda's 2nd wife Granny (she was far too glamourous for that), she has a special place in my heart. She nursed my Granda through many an illness, put up with a lot of grumpiness from him and helped him learn to walk again after his double amputation last year. And she adored him. Despite the gruffness, despite the shouting, despite the frustration, she loved him with every fibre of her being. He was a very difficult man to live with, but she stuck with him. And I think that's what upsets me the most. That a lovely, caring, beautiful woman I care for has lost her soulmate.

I regret that I cannot be there for her. To hold her hand, look over old photos and remember the man she loved.