When we arrived home from holiday I received news from a very dear friend that she had given birth to her first baby, a lovely daughter.
Over the course of her pregnancy I had a couple of chats with my friend on the phone and via email about how much she wanted a natural, drug-free birth and fully intended to breastfeed. I even sent her a couple of books I really rated on breastfeeding and childbirth that I knew I wouldn't need anymore. She lives many miles away and we haven't actually seen each other in years, keeping in touch mainly via Facebook and email.
Then yesterday I learnt that my poor friend laboured for 15 hours only to be whipped in for an emergency c-section. Understandably, she's gutted her birth plan went out the window. But to make matters even worse, her lovely daughter is tongue tied and feeding is a struggle. She's been told that 'they' don't divide tongue ties anymore and to just carry on feeding until it stretches.
So of course I went into research overdrive last night and bombarded my friend with text messages and emails reassuring her that tongue tie is divided regularly with great success. I did struggle a bit to find a lactation consultant in Scotland (what's that all about?? Is there not the same need in Scotland for expert breastfeeding help?). But I eventually found her contact names and numbers of who to contact should she decide to get the tongue tie divided.
But now I fear I overstepped the mark. I fear I may have been meddling and sticking my nose in.
But I fed a baby with tongue tie (which admittedly did eventually stretch) and it was a long hard slog that made me miserable and placed considerable strain on everyone else in the family. I just wanted to save my friend from that pain and heartache and spare her a little of the guilt all mother's feel when things don't go exactly to plan.
I can vividly remember the anguish and uncertainty of those early week when feeding is not going well, your boobs hurt, your hormones are going crazy and no-one seems to be able to help. I wanted my friend to know that there is help if she wants it. She doesn't have to suffer in silence, or suffer at all.
I just hope my passion for breastfeeding and helping other people breastfeed didn't repel my friend or cause her any heartache. It's tough knowing where the line is and whether you've crossed it or not...
Did I meddle? I really hope not :-(