Blocked

The words just haven't been flowing towards this old blog of mine recently and I'm feeling a little creatively blocked.

Big changes are potentially in the air, but I'm too fearful to blog about them...why? For fear I jinx it, for fear someone reads these thoughts that I don't necessarily want to...

Something happened recently that showed me I'm not as anonymous as I thought I was online and it kind of spooked me. Turns out google has long tentacles and a long memory...

But Spring is in the air, which excites me and makes my fingers tingle at the thought of sowing seeds, nurturing seedlings, planting plants...

Oh I want to tell you so much little blog...but I can't. Be patient and hopefully good things will be revealed.

Until then...

Surviving flu

Having just started to come out the other end of a bout of flu (yes, *proper* flu, not man-flu, not a bad cold but full blown influenza thankyouverymuch) I feel like I should be singing and dancing and clicking my heels with the sheer joy of being alive.

But I'm not. I'm still approximately two-thirds full of snot, coughing like I smoke 60 a day and breathing like the poor penguin in Toy Story 2 (with a squeak and a wheeze).

Next year, I will not be skipping the flu vaccination. Man, it was nasty. But there were ups as well as downs, so here are the highlights of the best things about having flu:

:: your 5 year old tucks you into bed with the most tender kiss and a teddy to keep you company

:: your 5 year old tells you to only eat and drink healthy stuff to get better soon 

:: the look of excitement and adoration on your 18 month old's face when you finally emerge from beneath the duvet on day 3

:: you get to watch the entire series 1 and 2 of Secret Diary of a Call Girl and nobody complains

:: surviving on hot honey & lemon for 5 days is amazing for the waistline

:: get better toblerone from the husband

:: a massive bunch of flowers from the in-laws to cheer me up

:: I'm now craving broccoli

So all in all, I wouldn't recommend it as the best way to spend the second half of half-term, but it did have it's advantages (excused from nappy changing duties for a start - result!).

Hope you all had much better half-terms than we did. What did you all get up to?

When the Calpol kicks in...

Stuck at home with a poorly 5yo, hacking cough and a temperature of 39.6 degrees...what do you do when the Calpol kicks in and he starts to get bored with Wacky Races/Danger Mouse/Wallace & Gromit?

Well...you make a Superhero cape of course!

Introducing Captain Invincible:

A quick google turned up this pattern. A quick rummage through the fabric stash revealed half an unused Ikea fleece blanket, some ribbon and a couple of felt stars and voila! One Superhero cape all ready for Superhero day at school with the minimum amount of fuss and very little sewing.

Right, what next?

For the love of my life (well, one of them...)

Love bugs (from Lush), chocolate dipped marshmallow lollipop (from @burghbakes), jelly hearts (inspired by @nurturestore) and of course a sweet valentine's card for a very special man in my life...

Shame the husband declared this year a present-free zone between us - I had to focus my efforts on the next love of my life instead ;-)

Nutella tray bake

 

This is our stock weekend traybake recipe at the moment, it's super easy and super yummy:

225g softened butter

225g caster sugar

275g self-raising flour

4 eggs

4 tablespoons of milk

2 level teaspoons of baking powder

2 - 3 heaped tablespoons of nutella (adjust to suit your tastebuds)

Bung all the ingredients in a bowl, give it a good mix, pour into a lined baking tray and bake at 160 degrees C for about 40 minutes.

When baked and cool, smother in your favourite butter icing/frosting etc, cut into smallish squares and enjoy over throughout the week with a wee cup of tea/milk/juice etc. We like to decorate it with some multi-coloured sprinkles too. 

Losing my ambition

I stumbled across an article on The Women's Blog on The Guardian today that got me thinking. The article was about the frighteningly low percentage of women in top, board room level jobs. In the US, only 3% of the chief executives running Fortune 500 companies are women and in the UK, just 15% of UK board members are women. Government doesn't fare much better, with just 17% of government ministers in the UK being female.

The article raised an important point: that from a very young age, girls are labelled as 'bossy' while boys are encouraged to lead the way. But is there more to it than that? Why are more women not heading up companies and running the country? Sheryl Sandberg is reported in the article as calling for "girls to be ambitious at work and men to be ambitious at home". Hear hear I say...but...something niggled me.
 Now I'm not disputing this point, I do actually agree with it. But I also think, from a personal perspective, that something else is at work to prevent women getting these top jobs.

For me, my career goals changed forever the moment I held my firstborn child in my arms for the very first time. Becoming a mother changed me in ways that I would never have imagined. I think I lost my ambition the day I became I mother.

The trials and tribulations of the office no longer held me so passionately. I still wanted to do a good job, create great work, but at the end of the day, all I wanted to do was rush home for a cuddle and a bedtime story.

When your child has a fever or is refusing antibiotics, office politics just seem so trivial and meaningless. Trying to decide if a brand promise is aligned with a brand proposition and how that fits into a 5 year marketing plan no longer fills me with frisson beyond 4:30pm. Catch me at 8:30am and I'm all over that brand promise, but threaten to interfere with the prospect of bathtime and sleepy cuddles with my boys and you're straight in my bad books.

It's not so much a case of priorities. I'm sure every mother prioritizes her children, I'm not doubting that. But the shareholders I answer to are a 5 year old and an 18 month old.  They are my Chief Operating Officer and Chief Executive Officer and disappointing them would just be more than I could ever bear.

I guess it's down to balance more than anything. I'm still ambitious, but only to a point. If that point threatens to interfere with my family life, then I'm just not interested.

Which brings us back to the age-old dilemma about having it all...can women truly have it all? Can we be the mothers we want to be while also breaking through that glass ceiling? (Oh, Carrie Bradshaw moment there!)

I'm inclined to say no. Not in my case anyway. Other women seem, from the outside, to manage it. An I'd love to know how they do it! But for me, it's a no. The only board I'll sit on is made of lego.

366 days of photos - week 5

These past 7 days have been horrid to be honest and most days I just didn't have the time, energy or inclination to take a photo each day. So I've cheated a bit this week and selected photos from throughout the week that put a much rosier glow on proceedings.

So here's what I would rather remember about this week:

Sunset during the commute home

A day at home with two 18 month olds - a day that rejuvenated my soul

Lunch at Wagamamas with good friends, putting the world to rights

Waking up to snow

Finally having the mental space and time to notice little details

A spot of sledging

Walking through a winter wonderland

Here's hoping that next week will be a much kinder week. If it's not, I may need to offer up some sacrificial object to the universe. It's obviously seriously pissed at me.

Behind me

Another difficult, stressful week done.

But I've promised myself that I will not dwell on the numpties at my work when I have a delicious weekend filled with my boys to throw myself into.

And with snow on the way, who wants to think about work?