Back to the allotment

I finally managed to pop over to the allotment this evening.

It was bliss.

All I did was some badly needed grass cutting and a spot of weeding before picking some of the spoils. I found some wonderfully ripe purple gooseberries, yellow courgettes, beautiful red apples and some beans (runner beans? Is that what I planted? hmm, might need to consult google images here). 

But best of all, I found my allotment mojo. Oh I've missed you allotment!

This year, the allotment suffered from lack of planning and a severe lack of time. But now I've found my mojo again I can't wait to plan for next year.

I want cauliflowers, courgettes (but only 1 plant please! ok, maybe 2), runner beans, potatoes (always), red onions, garlic (this year's failed - mould of some kind. Another google images consult I think), rhubarb, what else? erm...I'm hoping the raspberry, blackcurrant and redcurrant canes I planted this year start to fruit next year, tomatoes are a waste of time as the whole site is riddled with blight, maybe a wee herb garden? I want neat beds, proper paths, less grass and fewer brambles (I have such a love-hate relationship with them. Love the berries, hate their impossible to tame nature).

I need to go and bury my nose in my veg growing books and sort out what I want to grow! 

And build some raised beds.

And cut more of the grass.

And weed more. Lots more.

June 2010 - so much tidier than it was tonight!

Happy birthday littlest one

wow, that was fast! 7 minutes after arriving on the labour ward (in an ambulance) - you don't hang about do you?

A year of smiles and giggles and heart stopping oh-my-god-I-love-you-so-much moments. And suddenly you're 1. One whole year old. Before we know it you'll be running after your big brother, asking just as many questions and running rings around us.

But for now, I'm going to hold you close and continue to cuddle you at every opportunity. I'm going to carry-on ignoring the old biddies that tell me I'm making a rod for my own back. And I'm going to keep on sneaking you into our bed in the middle of the night for midnight snuggles.

So it turns out that love isn't shared. It doubles, quadruples, multiplies indefinitely so that everyone is loved just as much, just as deeply, just as strongly.

Who knew?

What a way to come into the world eh? I should have known from that very moment, that once you put your mind to something, there's no stopping you. You are a force to be reckoned with. A whirlwind.

You wear your heart on your sleeve. Just like me.

You can charm the birds out of the trees.

Happiness should be your middle name. Or if you were a girl, we'd call you Joy.

This much we already know.

So much to discover, so much to learn. I can't wait. Happy birthday littlest man.

Silent Sunday

This time last year...

This photo has absolutely nothing to do with this post, I just love lobelia, ubiquitous or not

:: I was digging potatoes on the allotment despite not being able to see my feet (or knees)
:: I was spending my afternoons watching Carrie not get married over and over again while eating copious amounts of cake
:: I was done with nesting
:: I was marching husband and F through fields of lavender to try to induce labour (worked for 2 friends, I was willing to try anything!)
:: I was trying every home remedy known to woman to try to induce labour (despite not even being overdue yet, just due)
:: I was seriously grouchy
:: I'd had enough of being pregnant
:: I was a mother of one and was rather impatient to become a mother of two
:: I had no idea how much more love I was capable of giving
:: I felt like I'd be pregnant forever
:: I felt like I'd BEEN pregnant forever already
:: I had no idea giving birth could be such an amazing, empower experience

If I could rewind to exactly a year ago, I'd tell my heavily pregnant self to:

:: chill out
:: leave the digging to someone else
:: lie on the sofa more
:: quit with the grouchiness
:: stop worrying, it will all start happen in about 48 hours
:: just opt to stay at home when the paramedics arrive
:: tell your mum to keep away from the business end please - there's nothing for her to see down there thank you!

What happens when you ignore your allotment?

 

Well, you end up with 2 foot long courgettes for a start...

And your fennel grows to towering heights - this lot is as tall as me.

 

And you start to wonder if there are enough courgette recipes in the world to use up your glut (any ideas anyone? anyone??). See that diddy little one on the right? That's about the size you can buy in the supermarket.

Hmm, talk about fertile.

Silent Sunday

Summer + 2 boys = fun

 

I'm having a slow couple of days at work this week and I've been daydreaming about what I'd rather be doing. Invariably, it involves the two gorgeous little men above. So here's my list of what I'd rather be doing right now with my boys:

:: eating ice-cream

:: sitting curled up on the sofa together reading stories

:: watching Peter Pan armed with a bucket of popcorn (salted for me, sweet for my eldest)

:: making up daft running races

:: picking blackberries and planning what we're going to do with them if any make it home uneaten

:: splashing around in a swimming pool, preferably with slides or flumes followed up by big plates of sausage & chips (traditional post-swimming fare non?)

:: just sharing some giggles...

:: and some more ice-cream

Do you remember Live Aid?

I do. In 1985 I sat and watched Live Aid with my dad. I was 8 but I still have vivid memories of the pictures of starving children that were broadcast. Children with tummies bloated from malnutrition and skeletal limbs. To this day, the song Who's Gonna Drive You Home by The Cars immediately conjures up images of children lying on the dry, dusty ground. Not playing, just lying there with sunken eyes. So thin you could see their ribs and pelvic bones. I can remember asking my dad why these children weren't swatting away the flies that kept landing on their eyes and faces...because they're too weak princess he replied.

I now have my own children, 2 boys with healthy appetites for food and for life. We have a well-stocked fridge, the luxury of fresh fruit and vegetables whenever we want them and clean water on tap (literally).

I'm fiercely protective of my boys. I'd do anything for them, as I'm sure most mothers would. But I just can't imagine being forced to walk for weeks, through blistering heat, with no shelter, just to reach food and water. But that's exactly what thousands of mothers are having to do, right now, in East Africa.

On the Save the Children website there is a photograph of two brothers. They're probably not that different in ages from my two boys. But these brothers have traveled hundreds of miles in search of food and water. The tears running down their faces tell of the relief they feel at finally arriving at the Save the Children programme site and of the pain they've endured to get there.

I can't bear to imagine a situation where my 5 year old would have to carry his younger brother miles to safety, to food, to water. It breaks my heart, not just as a mother but as a decent human being. Hearing of 6 week old babies suffering from malnutrition in East Africa shocked me. How can a 6 week old baby be malnourished? Only too easily if their mothers are not receiving sufficient nourishment themselves and sacrificing what meagre rations they do have to feed their older, starving children. And that's what's prompted me to write this post.

"in Somalia malnutrition rates have reached 30 per cent in some areas, making East Africa one of the hungriest places on earth." Save the Children

Let me introduce you to some people. This is Umi with her mum Amina:

Per-Anders Pettersson/Save the Children

At 3 months old, Umi weighs just 3.7lbs. My youngest son weighed double that at birth. Umi has been sick since birth with diarrhoea. Amina lost all her livestock because of the drought and her 2 older children are malnourished. The drought forced Amina to migrate away from the rest of her family and she has not seen her family members for four months. She now fears that her children might die because of the drought.

This is Rahow:

Colin Crowley/Save the Children

Two months ago Rahow started vomiting and suffering from diarrhoea and a fever. He was very weak and his family were advised to take him to the Save the Children programme site. Thankfully, they did and Rahow was treated and given nutritious food. He's now gaining weight and is doing really well. Hopefully, Rahow will continue to grow and thrive. But other children may not be so lucky.

Chronic malnutrition can have a devastating effect on children, resulting in them failing to grow to their full genetic potential, both mentally and physically. There is a critical window for a child's optimal physical and mental growth and development. It starts from when a child is still in its mother's womb and stretches through its first two years of life. If we can intervene during this period to counter the effects of malnutrition, the harm it causes can be reversed. But if the opportunity is missed, the child will never make up the difference in growth and development, and will be adversely affected for the rest of his/her life.

Save the Children are doing an amazing job working within these communities, treating malnourished children and pregnant and breastfeeding women, and distributing food and water. But over 7 million people in East Africa still need help and Save the Children urgently need donations to reach more families. Just £25 can buy 10 days of treatment for five children with malnutrition. £50 can provide safe drinking water for almost 800 people. £100 can buy 4 family hygiene kits to prevent the spread of disease.

Please help Save the Children help children like Umi and Rahow by donating now. I have.

Learning respect, back to basics

WARNING: Boring weight loss blog post ahead...turn around now if it doesn't interest you!

So, I blogged earlier about using a slimpod from Thinking Slimmer and how I wasn't really seeing any huge change on the weight front. This puzzled me somewhat and I re-read my blog post a number of times, looking at my list of changes I'd noticed and wondering why they weren't translating into weight loss. For a couple of days I made excuses. It's because I'm breastfeeding. It's because I have some weird metabolic condition that has yet to be discovered. It's hormonal.

Then I thought, hang on a minute. If I'm not losing weight I'm OBVIOUSLY eating too many calories. Well duh! It's not rocket science is it? Yes, losing weight can be hard work. But I really felt my slimpods had sorted out my cravings and emotional eating. So if I still wasn't losing weight it had to be down to calories.

So I decided to go back to basics and count calories. Now, I've never actually counted calories before. I've done weight watchers, juice diets, exercising my butt off and various permutations of low carb. But I've never actually counted calories.

But I decided I needing something I couldn't 'cheat' at. I wanted something with nowhere to hide and I knew I needed to learn the true value of food. I didn't want to calorie count so I could eat lots of so-called diet foods. I just wanted to re-educate myself of the true calorific value of foods. I hate diet foods, I really do. But if I want to eat cake, I want to know if that cake is the equivalent (calorie wise) to a healthy chicken salad or a big plate of lasagne. I've spent too long cheating/lying to myself about food. Now it's time to face facts.

I'm relieved to say that I didn't need too much of an education. The only real shocks I got were around frappuccinos and lattes. But I have regained my respect for food. If I want a biscuit/cake/pastry, I'll eat it. But I have to enter it into my food diary and note the calories (using an app on my iphone - it's fab). If I'm heading towards going over my daily calorie target or I want more cake, then it's a great incentive to go for a run or do a fitness dvd.

But respect is definitely the key here. I have a greater respect for calories and I have a greater respect for my body. I want to nourish my body first, then if I have calories left over, then we can go to town on the pastries.

And the bonus is, the weight is starting to fall off! Hurrah!

Silent Sunday

 

This weekend

:: will be filled with family times, happy times, together times

:: we will picnic with egg dip dip sandwiches!

:: we will sit on a rug on the hill behind Chartwell and just be together

:: we'll go searching for early blackberries, planning, cooking and tasting their tangy sweetness

:: we'll sing songs in the car and eat ice-cream in the garden

:: we'll giggle and tickle and laugh and sigh

:: we'll hold each tight and count our blessings

:: (there will also probably be squabbles and tantrums but they don't need to be planned)

What are doing this weekend?

Home

He's home.

The bed that was too big last week is suddenly so much smaller.

The house that was blissfully quiet is loud again. There are too many voices.

3 was the magic number. 4 seems crowded.

But he's home. 

He's exhausted. 4 weeks of hospital nights have taken their toll.

His breath comes in shallow snorts, marking the passing of the evening as he sleeps deeply.

But he's home.

After almost 7 years of marriage and 13 years together, being apart was tough.

But surprisingly refreshing.

It was a reminder. To count my blessings. To hold my soulmate tight. To remember what I love about him. Why I love him.

And I do. I truly do.

Home truly is where the heart is.

The social life of a 5 year old

I'm ruining my 5 year old's social life.

I've pushed him almost to the edge of Reception Class social acceptability. Why? Because I'm chronically lazy when it comes to play-dates. I just can't be bothered.

It's the same with birthday parties. If I like the parents or the child, we go (by like, I mean: made an effort to get to know and found they're quite nice and normal really). If I don't like them (by don't like, I mean: haven't bothered/got round to getting to know them so therefore have no idea whether they are truly nice or not), we apologise and say we can't make it.

Does that make me a terrible mum?

My 5 year old is an incredibly sociable 5 year old. By that, I don't mean he has wonderfully developed social skills beyond his years. He's just not shy. He'll happily chat to any child in the park/shops/swimming pool and actively seeks out other children whenever he can. New faces rarely faze him and as long as adults talk to him sensibly and about things that he finds engaging, he'll chat away happily to them too.

So when it comes to setting up play-dates. I've never really seen the point. He's more than capable of making his own friends, so why would he need me to sort out play-dates? And anyway, he already has lots of friends that we see regularly. There's his NCT friends that he's 'known' since birth and his nursery friends that he's known since he was 1. Only 2 of his nursery friends ended up at the same school as him, so he has lots of friends outwith his class and outwith school.

I always felt this was a good thing, as school can get a bit claustrophobic for some kids. Once you're labelled as bright/sporty/bookish/math whizz/class clown etc. it's hard to get away from those labels in school. But at least you can get away from them out of school with friends that don't know you in school.

But then last Friday, the worst thing happened (well, if you're 5 anyway). 2 of his best buddies merrily announced that they were off to a 3rd boy's house for tea after school. My poor 5 year old has never been invited on so much as a play-date, never mind home for tea. Our play-dates and tea invites have always been with pre-existing friends and are usually more of an excuse for the mums to get together.

I felt terrible for him. I felt like I'd failed him in some way. I've made little effort with the majority of the school mums for various reasons. Having a 6 week old baby when school started last September meant I didn't really have the energy for forging new friendships. I did sign up for some of the nights out, but the boob-monster was having none of it and getting out the house of an evening was impossible. Then when the boob-monster finally decided to stop cluster-feeding all evening, the night-out invites had dried up and I was too exhausted from sleep-deprivation anyway. Then as time went on, I was so busy making the most of my maternity leave and enjoying time with pre-existing friends that I didn't bother making a huge effort with the school mums. I already had lots of friends, why would I want more?

But maybe that's where I went wrong. Or did I? I still can't decide. I don't want to choose my 5 year old's friends for him. I want him to find his own friends. I suppose having a nanny share with his best-buddy-in-the-whole-world-ever doesn't help the cause much. Every afternoon they already have a built-in play-date with each other.

But to atone, I decided it was time to take the plunge. We've invited a friend to come over and play next Friday after school. I feel slightly nauseous about the whole thing. I'm not a big fan of the mum. She's a bit of a busy body, so I tend to give her a wide berth at the school gates. But then, I'm not asking her to come and play. I'm asking her son. So I need to just get over it and get on with it.

Sigh. Why does nobody warn you about the politics of the school gate when you enroll your child in school? It's just so bloody tedious!

How will I ever refine my bedside manner if mummy doesn't sort out my social life for me?

Silent Sunday

 

Dear So and So...

Dear husband aka 'a keeper'

The past month has been the. longest. month of my life. I'm trying hard to count my blessings - it's the only thing that's kept me going while you've been in hospital. But I'll be so glad to have you home on Monday. Not sure I'll take too kindly to sharing my (yes, my) bed with you though. We may need to buy a kingsize one ;-)

Can't wait to squeeze and cuddle and snuggle and talk nonsense with you again.

Love, your wife

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear eldest son/boy wonder/1st light of my life

I know it's been tough for you with daddy in hospital and shouty mummy has been around a lot. But I want you to know I love you and I'm sorry for being such a grouch. Let's have a movie night tomorrow night and eat ice-cream until we're sick. Or we can just run around with pants on our heads. Your choice.

Love ya baby, all the way to the moon and back, your mummy xxxx


p.s. please please please stop getting up at 5.30am. It's driving me insane. xxx
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear stomach

*sigh* ok, here's the deal. I know I ate for Scotland when I was pregnant with both boys, but surely you've hung around for long enough now? Any day now those slimpods are going to kick in, so let's just say our goodbyes now. No need to hang around any longer. It was great while it lasted, but it's time to move on.

Ciao, me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear me

You have 5 weeks until you go on holiday. Don't spoil it for everyone else by hiding every time the husband tries to take a photo or bemoaning the size of your thighs/stomach/chins. Just do what you can to shed some poundage and tone up. Keep listening to your slimpods - they work. Keep doing The 30 Day Shred - it works. You can do it. You're going to look and feel fabulous.

Manly punch to the shoulder, love me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear baby/youngest son/other light of my life

You are 1 year old in 24 days time. Do you really need to be feeding 2 - 3 times through the night? Really? I mean 48 weeks is a long time to go without a full nights sleep. It's starting to take it's toll sweetheart. The word haggard springs to mind. What do you say, we cut it down to just once a night? Then maybe you'll actually be hungry for breakfast at breakfast time. Just a thought.

You are adorable though and I love you to the moon and back, your mummy xxxx

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear allotment

I'm sorry. I truly am. Life is just a bit hectic at the moment. But I promise to come and see you as soon as I can. We'll spend some quality time together and put the world to rights. Just you, me and the shed. I promise.

Love, me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



For more letters to Dear so and so head over to 3 bed bungalow

Slimpod Journal: July

As I sit down to write this, I've actually got mixed feelings about my slimpods. Don't get me wrong, I think they're great. You only need to read some of the comments on twitter to see the amazing results some people are getting.

My problem is, I'm just impatient. I'm an instant gratification kinda gal. Which is probably what got me into this situation in the first place! I want to lose 2 stone, which would take me to the weight I was when I got married. So I'm going to use this post to focus on the positive changes I've seen so far, because to be honest, the scales aren't budging (yet).

This is also my second attempt at the slimpods. The first time, I have to be honest, my heart wasn't truly in it. I was looking for a fast and easy fix and wanted the slimpod to do all the hard work for me. But it wasn't addressing my emotional eating issues, so I decided to add the chocaholic slimpod into the mix.

This time, I've religiously filled out my slimpod journal every night and here are some of the changes I've noticed during the past 16 days:

1.I'm not hungry for breakfast. Even if I've had very little to eat the previous evening.

2. Appetite has decreased dramatically.

3. I'm still tempted to snack at work, but it's all healthy snacks I'm reaching for - apples, sugar snap peas, bananas, yogurt (oh and the occasional handful of wasabi peas!)

4. In the past, whenever I had a stressful/rubbish commute to work I would instantly head to Pret to buy a chocolate croissant. I still love the idea of a chocolate croissant but have no desire whatsoever to eat one.

5. Quite often I'm forced to leave some of my lunch or dinner. I just can't finish it.

6. I'm cooking smaller and smaller portions of pasta (my easy go-to evening meal at the moment while I'm cooking for one)

7. I've bought chocolate once in the past 2 weeks. And it lasted 4 days. Totally unheard of.

8.I'm drinking lots more water.

9. I've noticed that what I'd previously recognised as hunger signals are in fact thirst signals! I was eating instead of drinking water!

10. Whenever faced with a stressful situation, one that would normally send me straight to the nearest bar of Dairy Milk, I hear a little voice saying "if you really want chocolate, fine, go for it...but it won't solve the problem/change the situation for you. Only you can do that"

Reading back that list, I'm pretty impressed! I guess I'm just going to have to be a bit more patient. I've started doing 30 Day Shred as well, so I should start to see some results soon. We're off on holiday in 5 weeks (eek) and I really hope to shed a good few pounds by then!

For more slimpod chat, head over to Ooh Baby - All things Cuteable